February 2012
23 posts
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my friend/ex-friend, model/ex-model read the post yesterday and we talked some more. I don’t know if it helped but i did offer her a chance to share her feelings here by way of emailing me a post i would post unedited if she wanted.
i realize that it wasn’t entirely fair because i’m not her, or a model, or relying on my physical appearance for my living. i’d love to hear...
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it’s time to finally get the tv up so i can watch the wire instead of sitting watching the bachelor with my folks.
the bachelor.
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on the car i have borrowed (it's metallic orange)
mom: that sure is an ugly colour on that car.
me: i don't mind it, and jeff liked it.
mom: well, it's pretty ugly.
dad: it's not a canadian colour that's for sure.
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dad: what lights do you want left on (as he climbs the stairs to go to bed)
me: none. g'nite.
dad: why is he sitting down in the dark on his computer (to my mom).
mom: if that's what he want's to do, let him.
dad: i just don't see... [trails off]
haha.
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dear internet love of mine. i promise promise promise to write you a sprawling, heart wrenching tale of the past couple weeks which have upended my entire life… tomorrow.
i swear.
love ruzz.
big update coming if i ever get a pain free and things to do free moment at the same time.
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i was downtown today for some shitty business but i brought my cameras and held up my mom at every corner taking pictures. my heart was filling.
then we got a flat and had to hold up three hours waiting so i dragged her into the mall where all manner of kooky people were doing all manner of kook. my heart was full.
it felt beyond great to be back out on the street after such a hard week. the...
continued..
heyrrrabbit:
ruzzdotorg:
people have often suggested i go on anti depressants. my sister did and a few years later shes moved into a huge house. has new cars. and is living in the adult world as a regular person. she managed to normalize her moods and keep going in the same direction long enough to get credit and get acceptance into the mainstream. it can be done and i’m proud of her hard work...
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i wanna say this about the massive wall of judgements that keep coming at me from every angle because i want to be crystal fucking clear and on the record about how i feel.
i try really hard to be understanding with people. i try really hard to give people room to be themselves because i need that same thing back from them. i’ve kept friends, lovers, business partners well past when it...
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January 2012
30 posts
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today. gut shot.
wounded, but not out.
yet.
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speakmnemosyne asked: Hey, Ruzz. I think that last picture you posted is beautiful, and I agree with you on everything you said. I consider myself lucky enough to be able to appreciate beauty where others unfortunately cannot. To me, skin with cellulite can be just as tempting as smooth skin, to give an example. I don't know about you, but I usually feel much more attracted to normal women I see on the street than...
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mollypeck asked: Today's "molly peck pretends to shoots street" was brought to you by the letters R, U, and Z...
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feels like giving up. it’ll pass.
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follower print giveaway!
livingbreathingstreet:
we’re real close to 400 followers. Which seems miraculous to me since there are no naked girls on here (okay there is one—you’ll have to dig for that). so to celebrate the unexpected success follower 400 gets a free print from the print sale.
if you’ve been thinking of making a tumblr account now might be the time to do it :)
i’ll announce the winner tonight if we hit...
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words
it must be the heart of winter now. I’m kicking around the idea of starting another blog. a words only blog. ever since i shuttered seconds i’ve been meaning to start it’s replacement but i wonder sometimes if my compartmentalizing—which leads to 80 sites to keep up—is a good thing or not.
for those of you who wonder why i do.. to me it’s about context. i feel...
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